Peter

sunrise....

Sat, 23 Nov 2002 11:20:46 GMT

okay, so i'd just like to let everyone know that i was written up by campus safety for the very first time this morning.
the crime: watching the sunrise
i shit you not, watching the sunrise....granted i was watching it from the roof of the 'medas service desk, but really.....the sunrise!!!
got the works too....after campus safety man yelled at us to get off the roof, he parked the campus safety mobile, followed me to my room to confirm that i live here, and proceded to get my full name, access card #, social security #, birthdate, and the soul of my first born child.....
*shakes head*
at least i got a funny story out of it.....and if i show up in the newspaper under campus crime, im gonna laugh my ass off.....

no women, no children....

Fri, 15 Nov 2002 14:27:02 GMT

oh, one more thing......someone needs to kill the creepy one, aka Mary Kate.....i mean, Ashley i can deal with, but damn that Mary Kate!!!
lord knows im broke, but i'd be willing to pay for a simple, clean, effective hit......in sicillian terms, a "wacking"....(and no, not that kind ben.....*shudder*)

anyone? anyone? bueller? please???

ahem

Fri, 15 Nov 2002 14:17:19 GMT

on a completely different tangent, i'd like to talk to all of you kids today about a serious problem: depression. now depression affects a signifigant portion of young people today. depression comes with many severe side effects, including low self-esteem, bitchiness, and a general unpleasant mood. it's also often coupled with another horrible "D" problem: Drama

grrrrrrr.....so what's with all the drama and everyone being depressed!?!?!?!?!?
holy shit, be happy people!!!
damn.....

thank you, that is all

donald duck kicks ass!!!

Fri, 15 Nov 2002 14:09:09 GMT

Game of the Moment: Kingdom Hearts

yes......somehow a damn disney game has beaten out jk2, quake, warcraft and all other forms of gaming goodness.....it's a freakin disney final fantasy!!!
hah....

bedtime!

Tue, 05 Nov 2002 14:34:29 GMT

this is gonna end up killing me before i hit 30.....
:P

hey, you know i had to.....

Tue, 05 Nov 2002 13:04:51 GMT

Which ArchAngel are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

muhahahahaha.....oh, these are too fun.....

Tue, 05 Nov 2002 12:26:17 GMT

Which Evil Anime Badass Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

figures.....

Tue, 05 Nov 2002 12:12:00 GMT

Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

oddness....

Sun, 03 Nov 2002 13:28:54 GMT

is it just me, or do i like only post around 5am???

who's your daddy?

Sun, 03 Nov 2002 13:21:52 GMT

so apparently im now the dad of the Alamedas......that's right, the medas daddy......
which sounds cool, but what it boils down to is that i get to take care of everyone's drunk ass.....
yay, fun, what a glamorous job....
and supposedly emily is the mommy, but guess what, mommy's drunk tonight as well.....

yeah, it was paul's 21st bday, so of *course* his friends got him so drunk that he spent the latter part of the night hunched around the toilet at penthouse.....tiff was takin care of him, but she was even more drunk than he was, so it was kind of amusing watching the two completely wasted people trying to take care of each other....(don't worry, im not completely sadistic, being the daddy i made sure both of them were seriously okay first)
so at the end of the evening, everyone was just passed out over in penthouse except for ben and i.....still lookin for a party, us two delinquents crashed some place a block away, got thrown out and as daddy again i had to make sure ben didn't get into a fight with the dickhead who kicked us out.....after which i think we may, kinda, sorta have been responsible for starting some shit there....as we were leavin a bunch of latino and black guys were lookin for a party as well, we said we got kicked out and somehow they got the impression it was cuz the owners were racist and we weren't white (tho we seriously were the only asian/black guys there)......oh, and after that drama a cop kinda pulled up.....soooo.......yea, you don't know this, but it wasn't me.....
:P

and here i end my evening, completely sober, while almost everyone i know is passed out somewhere......except for link and kev, who were both on duty and were resigned to playin jedi knight.....(jetpacks are not cheap!!!)
oh, and jess too....cuz she's being a crazy good girl and studyin instead.....

wow....

Sat, 02 Nov 2002 13:12:19 GMT

damn.....so im just impressed that i made it home alive......
and to everyone that i drunk dialed tonight.....im really, really sorry.....
even nin....i can't believe i actually texted you too.....

i give up....

Fri, 01 Nov 2002 13:59:53 GMT

okay, so abiword decides to just die on me and delete my english paper.....as in 6, almost 7 pages of work down the fucking drain.......
so guess who's pissed off, cutting class, and just going to bed for the next 12 hours???
grrrrrr......and why can't openoffice just compile correctly already?!?!?!?!

I hate, I hate, I hate

Fri, 01 Nov 2002 13:48:37 GMT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
I FUCKING HATE ABIWORD!!!!!!!!!

oh yeah....

Fri, 01 Nov 2002 11:23:07 GMT

have i mentioned that i love halloween? yeahhhhh......
so the fun-filled weekend began with a little partying up in the city........so got all gothed up and headed over to Castro Street for this *massive* costume party with Tiff, Olivia, Andrea, Derek, and a dozen other friends of theirs from the medas......
Tiff's aunt owns this pizza joint right on Castro & Market, at the heart of the party, so we got all hooked up with free beer and pizza....sweet!
rachel was there, tho i couldn't find her in the crowd of, oh, 15,000 people!!! hahahah, i love this city! they seriously closed off 5 blocks of Castro for a hugeass street party.....heh, tiff and i got separated from the group and ended up wading through this mass of people for like half an hour just to find them again in this 1 block radius.....it was nuts.....

anyway, i've got an english paper to write for my 8am class :P which i feel is wholly unethical for the teach to assign the day after halloween.....but whatever, im pumped, i can do anything!
so paper, class, pass out, then hopefully headin on out again to San Leandro for another party, hooked up by Ed....after which i will pass out, then party again for Paul's 21st bday, where he's determined to get Link drunk enough to "drop it like it's hot"....hahahaha.....and then a rave from 6-2am saturday.....and then im gonna need to sleep for a week to recover......
*damn*

oh, and there are *so* many cute goth girls in this world, and apparently they all live in the city.....woo hoo!!!
*sigh* life is good......

okay, so that was too easy....

Sat, 26 Oct 2002 12:27:41 GMT

fun to post, but yea, i'll admit that was just cheating the answer.....
but i can't sleep yet, so why not dive into my psyche?
so what is a guy like me (i don't mean to be arrogant, but let's characterize myself as the sweet, shy, somewhat quirky, but all-around nice guy) doing with the aggressive, bitchy, unstable, malicious girls....ie, the fucked up ones...????

well, for one, i've always been attracted to those strong personalities.....those ones with just sheer strength of will, which usually comes out as a dominating, aggressive personality.....and hey, there's nothing wrong with that, it's nice to have someone with a personality, rather than just some cardboard cutout.....i'll even admit that this fascination has something to do with my intrinsically quiet, shy personality.....but on it's own, none of this is a bad thing.....

so why the unstable girls? the emotionally fucked up ones? *sigh* okay, so this probly has something to do with with that whole angel/martyr complex.....i have my moods, but im generally a stable guy....im not horribly depressed and i don't ever feel like i *need* someone.....(tho i'll admit it would be nice...hehehe)....and, well, okay, so i *am* a nice guy.....that's it, really.....i tend to care for people, which then leads to me caring about those extreme cases of really unstable, volitile women......who, for the most part, i tend to be able to handle.....meaning that i always end up falling for some broken girl who i piece back together over the course of a relationship......

this is not healthy......this is not how relationships are supposed to be.......they're supposed to be equal things, not just one person taking care of the other......meaning that all these will inevitably end badly.......
sooooooo......after all this analysis......and knowing all this......why the *fuck* do i keep doing it???

it's still a freakin mystery.....being nice can be such a bitch sometimes......

what's wrong with me?

Sat, 26 Oct 2002 11:58:50 GMT

okay, so question of the week is why the hell do i always end up with the fucked up ones? the bitchy, malicious, scary girls? actually, no, that's not the question.....i end up with them because i've got this unholy attraction to them......the question is why am i always drawn to them? or, more eloquently, what the fuck is wrong with me?!?

*sigh* it's fun tho....

to die, to sleep.....

Tue, 22 Oct 2002 12:33:36 GMT

yea, i've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that i'll never get to bed at a decent hour.......
:P

look! im doing something (semi) productive!

Tue, 22 Oct 2002 12:32:26 GMT

okay, so apparently the literary gods have bestowed their favor upon me and i can actually churn out decent stuff these days.....yep, it's still all melodramatic bullshit, but hey, one step at a time, right? so at this rate, i should be able to write the great american novel in, oh, a few milennia....
so in the meanwhile, i've turned all my great potential into the other serious literary medium....comic books.... :P
yes, that's right, im writing a comic book....and get this....guess who my partner in crime is? none other than benjamin....woo hoo! if he's still alive and manages to get over to the 'medas, our artistic collaboration will be manifest.....riiiight.....
im serious tho....i need some sort of creative project, otherwise my talents will simply go to waste on quake, jk2, warcraft3, or other gifts of gaming goodness.....so fuck it, im writing this thing if i have to illustrate it with stick figures....

so here's the concept: we want to create a dystopic world, ruined by technology, human hubris, and all that good stuff.....basically we're taking ben's view of the world being corrupted to all hell (by big business, class struggles, technocrats, other elitests) and how people in the "real world" deal with that.....so given that, our comic is going to be a series of urban legends in that world, following various characters, themes, stories, and whatever the hell else we think up......supposedly we're skilled, so we can pull this off by having the independent vingettes tie together somehow to create an overarching morality tale in the end.....and honestly i have no clue how im gonna do that yet....
*shrug* we'll see......i've got a few character concepts i'll sketch out here later, and as far as themes go, i can easily draw on all sorts of material, like gibson/stephenson cyberpunk, marxist philosophies on alienation, nietzche's whole mess, and all that other good stuff we philosophy majors pick up cuz we've got nothing better to do.....
and hey, it's about time we've got a philosophical comic out there.....

which reminds me....i've actually got a bunch of crap im supposed to be working on.....and no, none are actual schoolwork......have a few philosophy papers i've gotta get movin on.....my little ethical thesis (basically where i can make up moral rules and impose them on everyone else...heheh), this *freakin* annoying freewill/determinism debate prof. parent's got me stuck on, where he wants me to develop yet another thesis, cuz i stubbornly refuse to accept his arguments.....(so i come up with: freewill is simply a figment of perspective)
then there's that wonderful essay on love&sex i've gotta clean up so i can submit that for the lit review.....yea, my 1st decent piece of writing i've done in 2 years...guess i was inspired or something....
and then there's always my play that i've been trying to write since last summer.....like that's getting anywhere.....

so the trick is to balance all this with the oh-so-imporant quaking and social life im determined to have this year.....pretty much i've been cooped up for the last 2 years and i need to finally get out.....so maybe i can actually find myself that cute, fun, sarcastic, jessica alba-ish, genius comedian with an inexplicable attraction to me, but who in all likelihood will be a total bitch who i'll fall for anyways.....or i could always settle for a normal girl......but really, what's the fun in that? ;)

PH334R D GIANT YODA!!!

Wed, 16 Oct 2002 23:24:23 GMT

hahahahaha....im too easily amused....

Tue, 15 Oct 2002 11:39:33 GMT

The thing is, no one ever thinks about it at the exact pinpoint moment it happens. Love, I mean, not sex. For guys at the very least, when sex creeps up on you, you tend to notice. And if by some miracle of self-control you happen to maintain some of your faculties of reason, you're able to determine if it's right or not, and you're able to stop it. Unless you happen to be handcuffed at the time. But love, love is tricky...

I'm on one side, I'm on the other! I'm on the east bank, I'm on the west bank....

Tue, 15 Oct 2002 11:25:40 GMT

yeah, yeah, yeah, i know....make up your damn mind.....
who knows, maybe i'll actually stick to my journal this time.....
*looks at last entry* ......damn.....
well, we'll see....

oh....and to any of you who for one reason or another still check out my journal even tho i've pretty much been incommunicado for the last year.....ummmm.......shit, im sorry.....you know how i am.....but, uh..."hi"......im back.....
oh, and lilly-chan.....i know i owe you a hugeass email......so watch out for that in the near future.....
and to anyone else whom i've happened to have lost contact with, feel free to IM (SeraphWhisper) or email (pgamboa@scu.edu) me.....for one reason or another i guess i've fallen into one of those cycles where i realize, shit, i've ditched alot of people over the years......so any of you people from elementary, high school, or whatever whom i *know* has my screenname somehow, but has yet to IM me....hey, just drop me a line sometime.....and feel free to check my journal, tho i'll warn you now that most of my past entries are either random pointless posts, or huge, overblown "look at me, i've got drama" immature crap.....but whatever......read at your own risk, cuz i really don't care about hiding any of that.....

Wed, 05 Sep 2001 08:47:29 GMT

Turn it inside out so I can see
The part of you that's drifting over me
And when I wake you're never there
But when I sleep you're everywhere
You're everywhere

Just tell me how I got this far
Just tell me why you're here and who you are
'Cause every time I look
you're never there
And every time I sleep
you're always there

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
that makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

I recognize the way you make me feel
It's hard to think that
you might not be real
I sense it now, the water's getting deep
I try to wash the pain away from me
Away from me

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
that makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

I am not alone
Whoa, oh, oooh, oh

And when I touch your hand
It's then I understand
The beauty that's within
It's now that we begin
You always light my way
I hope there never comes a day
No matter where I go
I always feel you so

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
that makes me believe
I'm not alone
'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I catch my breath
it's you I breathe
You're everything I know
that makes me believe
I'm not alone

You're in everyone I see
So tell me
Do you see me?

the dream girl...

Thu, 02 Aug 2001 23:02:41 GMT

like i said, she'll be japanese, early 20's, and i want her to look like some goddess of death.....inhumanly pale, soft expressions, jet black long hair....at least past the shoulders.....no really fancy style, just simply combed back.....dressed entirely in white, which will give her a nice ghostly look, especially if the stage and guy were all dressed in dark, maybe black colors.....she can go through a few costume changes, but i want her clothes more modern looking than old kimonos......she should seem generally innocent and open-eyed, but with a sense of lonliness hanging around somewhere.....

i was thinking of having the 2 characters on stage, the man sitting in a chair telling his story to the audience, and she'll be in the background, maybe on the bed, not saying a word.....and the interaction will be a bit strange....he'll have lines directed to her, but he'll never talk to her directly.....like he's talking to someone just in his head......she'll react to him, but never speak on stage....she'll answer him, but only through voice overs......which gets to the voice......contrasting to how she'll look (demure geisha look), she'll have this really sassy, sarcastic tone....extremely flirtatious with an attitude......so some quick, sharp teasing from her, though it'll be obvious that she really is in love with him.....

and names.....first name either sasayaki (whispers), michiru (complete, total), or reimi (beautiful spirit, or nothingness).....im leaning towards reimi, but i have to find out if it's a real name first....rei means spirit or zero and the -mi suffix means beautiful, but i have to find out if they can go together properly.....if not, then sasayaki....
last name izanami or kagua.......izanami was an important goddess, one story has her dying and her husband travels to the underworld to get her, but it ends up like orpheus.....im liking kagua better though.....i'll paste a story a found about her.....

"KAGUA-HIME:
Kagua-hime features in a tale about Mt Fujiyama at the foot she was found by an old man living among the bamboo forests. She grew up to become the most beautiful maiden in the country and later the consort of the reigning Emperor whom she eventually married. After seven years of bliss she announced that she was an immortal and must return to the celestial sphere. To offset the sadness displayed by the Emperor at this revelation she gave him a magic mirror in which he would always be able to see her image and then promptly disappeared. The Emperor then attempted to follow her, clutching his memento he ascended to the heights of Mt Fujiyama but saw no trace of his beautiful wife at all. His ardour and passion was so great that the magic mirror burst into flames and subsided in a trail of smoke which can still be seen today gently rising out of the summit of the mountain. "

back again

Thu, 02 Aug 2001 01:11:02 GMT

okay, i guess im back on LJ again.....i kept putting it off cause i wanted to make a new one, but oh well....this is my LJ account from a while ago, though it only has entries from this year....
feel free to read any past entries, though i really didn't intend them for anything more than just a personal ranting page, so they range from deeply personal to pointless.....*shrug*
they're also a bit uncensored language-wise, but that's just me....

huh?

Wed, 13 Jun 2001 14:43:40 GMT

"The union of matter and form constitutes or gives place to the substance, to the 'totum,' the individual. Relative to the question of the principle of individuation, or the question of how it happens that a determined specific form can give place to a multiplicity of individuals of the same species, Aquinas affirms that the principle of individuation is matter -- not matter considered abstractly, pure matter, but matter signed by quantity, or that concrete matter in which the new form is produced."

*blank look*
oh, *shit*......

(side note: i've got to stop swearing......honestly.......aside from the fact that i don't swear at all when im home (and i better not start), i really should tone it down.......though hanging around brian "every other word that comes out of my mouth must necessarily be 'fuck' or some derivative thereof" and jackie "im from ghetto hayward"............i dunno.......it'll be difficult.......)

(on another side note: my speech patterns are gonna be so off when i go back home.....aside from the swearing and vivid insults, im remembering that they don't say "aiight" or "hella" or "tight" back in el centro.....wierd, wierd, wierd.......there's so much more, but i say "aiight" at least a couple hundred times a day, and "tight" is like the all purpose adjective.....)

and back we go to philosophy.......and the wonderful st. thomas aquinas.........
=P